Hey, D.C. United. So you want to host MLS Cup, huh? All you gotta do is walk into BBVA Compass Stadium, home of the Houston Dynamo and a place un-affectionately known as “The Oven” in some circles, and pull off a result that will stand you in good stead for the second leg next week. Oops…You got Salazar’d. Oh, hey Seattle Sounders. Didn’t see you standing there. Oh, YOU want to host MLS Cup. Okay, survive the LA leg of your series with the Galaxy and you’ll have the inside tra—ouch. Robbie Keane? Twice? That’s some dirty Irish right there.
So much for the higher seed having an advantage playing the second leg at home. Thanks to some terrible officiating and a crushing list of injuries, D.C. United heads back to cozy/crumbling RFK Stadium down two goals and a massive long shot to turnover the deficit. Goals from Andre Hainault (the defender who committed the foul that should have been a red for denial of a goal-scoring opportunity), Will Bruin (the Dancing Bear) and Kofi Sarkodie put Houston in the driver’s seat up 3-1.
Once again, Houston head coach Dominic Kinnear will always and forever casually transmogrify your dreams in to tiny little piles of shit that not only become shit after previously being dreams, but aren’t even important enough to have a smell after being turned into shit. Dominic Kinnear will odorlessly shitify your dreams. It’s demoralizing.
Meanwhile, out West, where the country is wide and the smog is of especially good vintage, the LA Galaxy are a freaking machine. The Sounders came in ready to shut down the Galaxy’s potent attack, but then Sigi Schmid went and half-assed the bunkering and the Sounders got smashed. Robbie Keane scored twice (that’s not one but TWO somersault-into-pistols) and Mike Magee collected the third as LA heads up north with a killer lead over the Sounders.
Lots of Sounders fans will fill up Qwestery Link Field on Sunday, because they’re good fans and the deficit doesn’t matter, but it’s hard to envision them seeing anything but the second half of a Conference Final loss. Especially if whatever spirit of a terrible, ineffective soccer player has taken hold of Colombian star Fredy Montero isn’t exorcised in time for kickoff in Seattle.
LA Galaxy v. Houston Dynamo live from the Home Depot Center in Carson, California for the second straight year, anyone?