QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

PHOTO OF THE DAY.
As part of the All-Star Game festivities, MLS legends took on a select team of New Jersey high schoolers. (GETTY IMAGES)

APPARENTLY BULGARIANS ARE THE LAZY PEOPLE OF EUROPE.
A striker you’ve heard of explains why he doesn’t seem to show much effort out on the field. // WAATP

HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL-STAR…UGH, I’M SO ASHAMED OF THAT LINE.
Behind the scenes with the lucky guys that get to get pasted by Manchester United tonight. // The Offside Rules

I DEMAND YOU COMPILE THAT DATA FOR MY PERSONAL EDIFICATION.
These stats don’t exist, but the guy that writes this blog would like them too. The call has gone out to scramble the Opta Force. // Soccer Issue

THE MOST COWARDLY NECK KICK EVER. AS OPPOSED TO THE BRAVE KIND.
We continue our Street Fighter theme from yesterday. This is much less fun. // Dirty Tackle

NO SLIME? THE SLIME IS THE BEST PART!
Luis Suarez was once an almost-cute kid who went on the South American version of Double Dare. Yes, there’s video. // A Football Report

HE HAS HIS EYE ON THE PRIZE. EVERYONE ELSE DOES NOT.
Mario Gomez got de-pantsed. That is all. // Kickette

THIS WILL DEFINITELY GET YOU EXCITED FOR THE ALL-STAR GAME.
Notes from the MLS All-Star Game presser, from a guy infatuated with Beckham’s inhuman ability to look perfect. // The Big Lead

YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MORE WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY.
A massive list of footballing heroes and villains, starting with the villains. Evil will always win because good is dumb. // BleachRep

You, however, are not dumb (which might mean you’re not good, but we’re not here to judge). Because you’re not dumb, you’re now headed over to Twitter to follow KCKRS before you immediately go to like KCKRS on Facebook. You smarty pants you.