QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
PHOTO: A MAN IN A MASK.
This guy wearing a Neymar mask scored as many goals as the real Neymar did against Barcelona on Sunday in the Club World Cup final. (REUTERS)
I LIKE IMAGINING JEAN VALCKE WEARING THE FAKE HORNS AND PULLING THE SLEIGH.
How Sepp stole Christmas. And didn’t care that he did. // The Other 87
THAT HAT LOOKS LIKE IT’S RIFE WITH SALMONELLA.
Turkey hat. What else needs to be said? // Beat the First Man
TRUE FACT: THE ROBBEN IS A BETTER BALL THAN THE JABULANI.
Rollin’ Arjen Robben shows up in a lot of places through the magic of Photoshop. // Invent Football
IT’S THE BLUE SIDE OF LIVERPOOL IN MORE WAY THAN ONE.
Everton’s business model is a disaster of a catastrophe of a failure and represents some of the worst of the financial spinning that goes on. // Two Hundred Percent
IF YOU’RE HOME SICK FROM SCHOOL, YOU DON’T GET TO GO OUT AND PLAY. SAME THING, RIGHT?
Darren Bent went out for a bit of shopping during Villa’s match on Sunday, was naturally ripped by angry Villa fans. Because that’s not insane. // Dirty Tackle
AT LEAST IT DIDN’T END UP IN HIS MOUTH. THAT’S A VICTORY.
Royston Drenthe’s kid is fascinated by the microphone Royston is supposed to be talking into during his post-match interview. // Off the Post
CONSIDER MY ILLUSIONS SHATTERED.
Pele was shite. Not really. Okay, a little bit. // 500TLF
SCORING GOALS WON’T BE ENOUGH? YOU KNOW THIS IS NICOLAS ANELKA, RIGHT?
Anelka’s adventure in China is already driving ticket sales, but comes with quite a few expectations. Can he actually return Shanghai’s club to glory (such as it is)? // When Saturday Comes
QUICK, EVERYONE HOLD HANDS AND SING ‘DA WHO DORES’ AND MAYBE SEPP WILL TURN INTO A NICE GUY. AW, WHO AM I KIDDING.
Christmas specials involving Jack Warner, Chuck Blazer, Ricardo Teixeira, et al are not in the works, thankfully. Follow, like, later.