QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
| PHOTO: BREAKING NEWS! TROUBLE IN THE SPAIN SLASH BARCELONA CAMP AS INIESTA SLAPS VILLA FOR NO APPARENT REASON! |
No, these guys are total bros. Just having a little fun. The Best Player in Europe can fakeslap whomever he wants.
| MAN UNITED IS SIGNING UP USAIN BOLT. THIS ROBOT CHEETAH IS FASTER THAN USAIN BOLT. THEREFORE, MAN UNITED WILL DEFINITELY SIGN THIS ROBOT CHEETAH. |
That’s called “logic”, people, and it’s quite unassailable. By the way, anyone want to go in together on a robot-proof bunker? // Deadspin
| THE ONLY BETTER RAGS TO RICHES STORY I CAN THINK OF IS BEBE. AND THAT’S NOT REALLY WORKING OUT. |
The story of how Kansas City went from MLS wasteland to soccer hotbed in the span of three years. // The Sporting News
| YOU KNOW WHAT’S A GREAT IDEA? INFLAMING PATRIOTIC PASSION WITH THAT WHOLE CONTESTED ISLAND THING HANGING OUT THERE. GREAT IDEA. |
Keisuke Honda totally respects Park Jong-woo’s patriotic gesture at the Olympics and doesn’t think Japanese people are patriotic enough. I ask again: anyone want to go in on a bunker? // The Star
| PHOTO: IS THERE AN AUSTRALIAN GRANT WAHL, AND WILL HE BE WRITING A BOOK? I HOPE THERE’S AN AUSTRALIAN ALAN GORDON. |
Alessandro Del Piero is officially a member of Sydney FC. He’s their Beckham, don’t you know.
| ARE WE SURE IT’S NOT…STEP 1: GET FANS STEP 2: ???? STEP 3: PROFIT!!! |
The brilliant MANU self-propagating profit cycle as illustrated by arrows and stuff. // 101GG
| ‘FAT NICKLAS BENDTNER’ IS ALMOST A TOO MUCH TO HANDLE FROM A JOKE-POSSIBILITY PERSPECTIVE. I NEED TO LIE DOWN. |
After inspiring a chorus of “mehs” and “LOLs” after signing with Juve, it turns out Nicklas Bendtner is too fat. But vertical stripes are slimming, so it’s all good. // Off the Post
| TRUE FAX: IN FIFA 13, OWEN HARGREAVES IS A PLAYABLE RED CROSS SYMBOL. |
Desperate to jump start his career, real Owen Hargreaves probably thinks this is a great idea. // Dirty Tackle
| VIDEO: WAIT, YOU MEAN YOUTUBE VIDEOS DON’T HAVE TO HAVE TERRIBLE ELECTRONIC MUSIC SOUNDTRACKS? I DON’T BELIEVE YOU. |
Watching Balotelli, Kolarov, Sinclair and Milner practice free kicks in training is strangely hypnotic.
| THE MESSAGE I’M GETTING HERE IS ‘THINK BEFORE YOU BOO.’ IT’S A LESSON. |
The eternal question, asked and answered by Ian King. Also, “the sound of burning pitchforks” is bloody brilliant. // 200%
| REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO USE THE TOP OF THIS POST TO OPINE ABOUT THINGS? ME TOO. WHY DID I DO THAT? |
If I had the time, I might again. But I don’t, so I can’t. Or I won’t. Either one, really. If I had the time today, I’d be opining about the impending doom we all face when the robot cheetahs become sentient. Not wanting to horrify you, it’s better I don’t get into that right now. But seriously, that bunker thing…hit me up. Follow KCKRS on Twitter here and like KCKRS on Facebook here. Thank you, and stay vigilant.
