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PHOTO: ALAS, POOR ANDREY! I KNEW HIM, THOMAS, A FELLOW OF INFINITE JEST, OF MOST EXCELLENT FANCY.
RVP gives the ball a nice talking-to before putting it in the net. Again. (REUTERS)
CUE THE R.E.M. ACTUALLY, DON’T. OVERRATED.
This is what happened when football ruined the world. // The Football Project
PLEASE, DON’T LET ‘DATATAINMENT’ ACTUALLY BECOME A THING.
At SXSW, Man City’s digital content head is pitching something called “datatainment.” Apparently this involves things like “turning shots on goal data into an Angry Birds-style slingshot game.” Someone stop the planet, I need to get off. // Wired
THE WELL-GROOMED BEARD PROJECT WENT SWIMMINGLY, I THINK.
This is the tragedy of the sacking of Andre Villas-Boas: We were promised things, and all we got was bland middle ground. // The Footy Blog
BECAUSE SIMPLY SCORING JUST DOESN’T DO IT FOR RVP ANYMORE.
Now Robin Van Persie is getting his kicks winding up his international teammates. Quality job antagonizing Tim Krul. // Dirty Tackle
PAR FOR THE COURSE.
Ricardo Teixeira is no more as Brazilian FA and World Cup organizing chief. Hooray, I guess, although his replacement is a thief. There’s video proof. // 101GG
NOT THE BEST LOOKING PITCHES, BUT I DON’T THINK THAT’S THE POINT.
To better illustrate the loss of Amazonian rain forest, a London artist added football pitches to images of the forest. // A Football Report
LET’S GET ALL META UP IN THIS PIECE.
What’s the greatest response to the “Who is the greatest player of all time?” of all time? Settle your head and then read. // The FCF
AND THEN LET’S READ SOMETHING THAT COVERS ALL OF THE ANSWERS MENTIONED IN THE ABOVE.
Hold up — the greatest player debate is supremely flawed, for this variety of reasons. So Messi might be the greatest of all time, but since we can’t prove it, it’s totally whatever. // Bleacher Report
WHAT’S NEXT? TACTICTAINMENT? STATATAINMENT? OTHERBORINGTHINGIDONTCAREABOUTTAINMENT?
Don’t hurt yourself trying to read that last one, it’s really not that important. What is important is that you follow KCKRS and like KCKRS and spread the proverbial word to your online pals. Because we’re awesome, and they need to know. We promise we’ll never give you anything that could conceivably called “datatainment.”