QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
|PHOTO: LOOK AT HOW HE’S TOUCHING THE BADGE. SLOWLY BUILDING TO THE KISS. GOONERS DESPAIR.|
It’s a good thing Arsenal won this weekend, what with RVP scoring a hat trick and making the first moves on the United badge.
|HEY KEVIN! SIGN WITH MLS! I GUARANTEE THIS WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN.|
Cologne midfielder Kevin Pezzoni quit the team after altercations with angry fans outside of his home. But you know what would have helped? If Kevin was packing heat (according to the comments)! APPARENTLY GUNS MAKE EVERYTHING AWESOME. // Dirty Tackle
|THANKS FOR THE CASH. HAVE FUN WITH THE RUSSIAN WINTERS! [PORTUGUESE LAUGHING]|
The thing about Hulk and Axel Witsel going to Zenit is that Portuguese football will benefit while the two footballers probably won’t. // A Football Report
|FINALLY, WE CAN BE JUST AS CREEPED OUT BY LEO AS WE ARE BY EVERYONE ELSE.|
There’s going to be Lionel Messi statue at Madame Toussaud. It will be so lifelike, you’ll FEEL like you’re watching it score a hat trick in 17 minutes against Mallorca. // Futbolita
|PHOTO: THEY SHOULD JUST SAY IT’S RETRO DAY, A TRIBUTE TO SIMPLER TIMES WHEN ALL PITCHES SUCKED.|
This is Napoli’s pitch, which caused an awful lot of chatter this weekend. It doesn’t look that bad to me, but then, I’ve played on the fake stuff.
|I FEEL CHEATED. I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO BE SUCKED IN BY THE FAKE REPORTS IN THE FIRST PLACE.|
This is what I get for not following the news closely enough. There were “Ronaldinho is dead” rumors? // LaLate
|HEY, LOOK AT ALL OF THE COOL THINGS HAPPENING WITH SOCCER DATA…WHAT? WHO CARES WHAT WE CALL IT? OI.|
Famous tech mag writes about the football data revolution, comments are all about the football/soccer name debate. YOU PEOPLE SUCK. // Wired
|BE AFRAID, PEOPLE. THIS MAY IN FACT PORTEND THE VIOLENT END TO MAN’S TIME ON EARTH.|
…according to some anyway. Victoria Beckham went out in public in a tracksuit. And trainers. Bwhat? // Kickette
|VIDEO: SOME PEOPLE FEEL BAD FOR RONALDO. OTHERS HATE HIS HAT. I’M AMONG THE LATTER.|
Ronaldo is sad, which has spawned the divisive debate over whether or not he’s allowed to be. Okay then.
|BREAKING: FOOTBALL MANAGERS LIKE THE SAME ACTORS WE LIKE, AREN’T STUPID.|
A poll of football managers reveals they all want Robert De Niro to play them in a movie. Except, I’m not really sure De Niro would be all that great. Can he do an accent? // Off the Post
|YOU CAN TAKE THE BERBA’S PLAYING TIME, BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE HIS DIGNITY. HIS FREEDOM IS KINDA UP FOR GRABS.|
The messy end to Dimitar Berbatov’s time at Old Trafford comes with the Bulgarian pronouncement that he’s lost respect for Fergie. // Bleacher Report
|OF COURSE MICK MCCARTHY WOULD CHOOSE BRAD PITT! OF COURSE HE WOULD!|
Mick, you’re amazing.