QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face..

PHOTO: THE PHRASE ‘CREEPY MASCOT’ IS REDUNDANT.
Soulless Euro 2012 mascots Slavek and Slavko lead Italy and Poland out of the tunnel at the Wroclaw stadium on Saturday. (Reuters)

IF YOU’D SAID THIS WAS BRITAIN’S NEWEST BOY BAND, I WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN OTHERWISE.
A few baby Gunners went out to catch the Arsenal Ladies’ match, looked like they might break into four part harmony at any moment. // Kickette

ANYONE FANCY CATCHING A GAME IN TORONTO? IN FEBRUARY?
Ex-US great and current Fox Soccer studio guy Eric Wynalda wants MLS to switch to the Euro calendar, says so in this interview I might have conducted. Sepp approves. // The Best Soccer Show

SPEAKING OF THINGS THE TEENAGERS LIKE…I MEAN BOY BANDS, NOT WYNALDA.
Remember that whole kerfuffle over Justin Bieber saying he was a Chelsea fan after he said he was a Barca fan? It gets worse. And this is hilarious. // ONTD_Football

 

PHOTO: ROBERTO EYES UP HIS NEXT PURCHASE.
Having already bought up every expensive attacking player available, Roberto Mancini hit the F-1 circuit to look for a new thrill. Just don’t let Mario get a hold of the keys, Roberto. (AP Photo)

THE STADIUM, THE STADIUM, THE STADIUM’S ON FIRE. WE DON’T NEED NO WATER LET THE…WAIT! PUT THAT OUT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS PLACE COST TO BUILD!
Stadium pyro of the most impressive order ever from–where else–Germany. // Pitch Invasion
 

AS IF TO ILLUSTRATE THE LIFE AND DEATH NATURE OF SOUTH AMERICAN QUALIFIERS…
Owl eats rat on the crossbar at the Colombia-Venezuela match, video at eleven. I mean right now. // Deadspin

SO REAL MADRID IS LIKE THE INNER PARTY, MAKING JOSE BIG BROTHER? OKAY THEN.
Neymar re-signed with Santos because Luis Alvaro Ribeiro told him Jose Mourinho would make him cut off his hilarious peacocking hair. According to Luis Alvaro Ribeiro, anyway. // Dirty Tackle

 

PHOTO: CHAMPIONS OF ONE OF THOSE OTHER CHAMPIONS LEAGUES.
Congratulations to Esperance Sportive de Tunis of Tunisia, winners of the African Champions League over the weekend. I’ll give you a cookie if you knew it happened before just now. (Reuters)

STEVE MCCLAREN HAS MILLIONS OF REGRETS. THAT’S A LOT.
Read this insightful interview with former Forest, England, Twente and Wolfsburg boss Steve McClaren because you’ll learn something. // Les Rosbifs

THERE HAVE BEEN MOVIE PLOTS BASED ON LESS.
Gary Neville has says he hates Liverpool and everything about Liverpool. Guess he should hate himself then, because he has Scouser blood. DUH DUH DUH! // Off the Post

MLS FANS, GET YOUR ‘FAT FRANK’ CHANTS READY.
Here’s you crazy MLS Designated Player rumor ‘o the day. Frank Lampard to LA. Expect this to go the way most Daily Mail rumors go. // CaughtOffside

 

PHOTO: FOUND UNDER KEYWORD ‘SOCCER.’
Rio’s got the World Cup and the Olympics coming. Apparently this requires tanks in the favelas. This particular operation is code named “Shock of Peace.” That seems a bit oxymoronic. (Reuters)

I DON’T EVEN.
I don’t understand this. It’s a figurine of Sergio Ramos…pooping? And this is a good thing why exactly? // Futbolita

HIS HEART DOESN’T SEEM TO BE IN IT. I DON’T BLAME HIM.
Here we go. England are going to win Euro next year. Don’t believe me? Me neither. Let’s see if this guy has any decent reason to believe. // Bleacher Report

PYROMANIA, BIEBERMANIA, RUMORMANIA, SCHEDULEMANIA. THAT’S IT, I NEED A NAP.
QWK KCKS is a production of KCKRS, and is written in front of a live studio audience at my desk somewhere in the suburban sprawl of East Coast America. Unfortunately, we don’t have craft services. We do have a Twitter account though, so go follow it. We also managed to work a Facebook page into the budget, so hit that thing up too. I’m off to drink bad coffee and pretend I like people. Ta.