QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

PHOTO: ‘FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL MIROSLAV.’
Germany unveiled a new kit today. Per Mertesacker was caught red-handed. Doing what exactly, only Lukas Podolski knows. (Reuters)

THAT’S NOT A RING, THAT’S A WEAPON.
Check out CR7 wag Irina Shayk’s crazy bling, which I believe will soon be confirmed as the ninth planet and might or might not be an engagement thing. // Kickette

LEARN YOUR HISTORY.
Among the many failed attempts to make soccer work in America prior to MLS was the International Soccer League, a summer tournament in New York. Like all the rest, it makes for a fascinating story. // Pitch Invasion (Part 1, Part 2)

NAUGHTY RAFA GETS PUT IN THE CORNER.
Rafa Marquez’s crazy person act not only kept him out of the second leg of New York’s match-up with LA, it led to him being dropped by Mexico. And he’s the captain. Oops. // Big Apple Soccer

 

PHOTO: ARE WE SURE THEY’RE CLEAR ON THE RULES?
Shinji Okazaki (L) and Hajime Hosogai of Japan during training with the Japan National Team. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I think it goes against the spirit of the game somehow… (Reuters)

THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS.
Blogspot addresses just got a lot less awesome. Visit our boy SF at the new digs for The Offside Rules. Swank. // TOR

ANY CHANCE IT WAS A LOOKALIKE? WE HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE WITH THOSE.
In a not-so-shocking development, Carlos Tevez flew back to Argentina without permission from Man City and will now be in your news again. Huzzah! // CaughtOffside

AT THIS POINT, IT’S REALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO DRINK ANYWAY.
Fabio Capello will miss his son’s wedding due to the England-Spain friendly. But that’s okay, apparently, because this particular son is 36 and already has two children with his bride-to-be. // Dirty Tackle

 

PHOTO: NOW I KNOW HOW TO SAY ‘I AM ZLATAN’ IN SWEDISH.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic poses with copies of that autobiography you’ve heard so much about that won’t be translated into English for some reason that is complete and total crap I’m sure. (Reuters)

ROONEY VERSION UNAVAILABLE DUE TO A CEASE AND DESIST ORDER FROM DREAMWORKS.
Chicharito wallpaper that is very classy. Get it? It’s a little pea on a pitchfork. // via 3nil

NEWSFLASH: AMERICAN GOES ON GOAL RAMPAGE IN ENGLAND!!!111
One day I hope to write that sentence without the hint of sarcasm. Today I write it because Mike Grella scored four times in the FA Trophy for Brentford. // Soccer Insider

GIRLS LOVE FOOTBALL TOO.
Women’s football in England is still hampered by sexist attitudes. // EPL Talk

AS EASY AS 1-2-3.
Here’s a sweet juggling goal from Monaco’s Marama Vahirua. // Bleacher Report

JAG ÄR…NOT ZLATAN. JAG ÄR QWK KCKS.
Now that I’ve sufficiently twisted the Swedish language for my own amusment, I think it’s time to send you over to Twitter to follow KCKRS, the shove you in the direction of Facebook to like KCKRS, then give you a final pat on the rump and send you out into the world to spend your day loving football.