QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
PHOTO: THE PRINCESS CAN’T TAKE THE TENSION.
Princess Stephanie of Monaco can’t look at the transfer deadline day drama. Just can’t do it.
AH! THANKS FOR THE MENTAL IMAGE.
That’s it, I’m suing The Sun for causing me emotional distress. Never do I want to see “spanked” and “Harry Redknapp” together. // The Sun
FROM NOW ON, CARLOS TEVEZ WILL BE CALLED ‘DOUBLE DOWN’ AND NOTHING ELSE.
The lovely lads at The Other 87 bring you the egg mcmuffin of list points. I mean the opposite of that. // The Other 87
OH, IS THAT TODAY? I’D COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN. BOBBY ZAMORA FOR HOW MUCH?!?!
Ways to improve today. Today being transfer deadline day. Unfortunately, this list does not involve Sky Sports presenters’ heads exploding. // Dirty Tackle

PHOTO: JAM ‘EM IN.
Temporary bleacher installed at Mirandes’ Anduva stadium ahead of the tiny club’s Copa del Rey match against Athletic Bilbao. (GETTY IMAGES)
AS IF I NEEDED ANOTHER REASON FOR MY BRAIN TO EXPLODE TODAY.
Joey Barton is writing for The Times. Did you want a breakdown? Should I be nervous Joey is starting a revolution? // Anorak
REVERBERATIONS.
The shuttering of WPS for 2012 means some of England’s best players are out of a job, too. // BBC Sport
REASON NO. 6,323 IT’S GREAT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLER.
Anders Lindegaard is (might be) a lucky man. Oh wait, I mean he’s rich and famous and in fantastic shape. Yeah. // Kickette

PHOTO: SCARY PIRATE WATCHES KIDS PLAY TABLETOP SOCCER.
That’s about it, really. This photo comes from a toy fair in Germany. That pirate has dead eyes. (GETTY IMAGES)
HEY EVERYBODY: BE MORE GERMAN.
In Germany, they have a superclub who understands it’s not good for the whole if they dominate every year. Imagine that. It’s part of the reason why Bundesliga is the model football league. // When Saturday Comes
LIVE UPDATES ON THAT THING HAPPENING TODAY. WHATEVER IT IS.
Transfers, almost-transfers, failed transfers, not-even-close-to-a-transfer, transfer of a pen from one hand to the other… // Bleacher Report
TRANSFER COMPLETE. THE TRANSFER OF MY DESIRE TO FOLLOW TRANSFERS IN REAL TIME FROM ‘MAYBE’ TO ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT.’ PRICE: £18 MILLION.
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