QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

PHOTO OF THE DAY.
An Australian elephant played some soccer to celebrate his birthday. Sweet. (Getty Images)

NEEDS MORE MULLETS AND/OR RAT TAILS.

Brazil’s Copa America squad is making poor hair choices. Neymar’s Rufio is approaching intervention proportions. // Dirty Tackle

PLAYING IN EUROPE IS LIKE GETTING YOUR HAIR DID.
Giuseppe Rossi’s Italian agent comments on Juventus’ appearance. Yeah Juve, tighten up that game. You used to be so put together. // Off the Post

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MARTA SHOW.
Messi is the best male player in the world, and maybe by a decent margin. Marta is the best female player in the world by a margin you can’t even fathom. // CaughtOffside

FINALLY, SOMEONE GIVES GI JOE A RUN OUT.
In honor of America’s birthday, here’s an XI that would body slam their opponents while finding ancient relics and fighting against a central bank. // The Other 87

HYPOCRISY IS A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS.
So the guy who ran for the Man City money is on the record criticizing guys who ran for the Man City money. Giggle snort. // WAATP

IT’S ALL PROPORTIONAL.
The clubs that waste the most money also happen to be the clubs that make the most money. Must be nice to have that luxury. Hey Bebe. // TBR