QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.
| VIDEO: I WONDER IF THE COW’S FAVORITE PLAYER IS MOUSSA DEMBELE. GET IT? “MOO-SA”? I CRACK ME UP. |
THERE’S A FREAKING COW ON THE PITCH. What’s its beef? Cud it be anymore disruptive? Damn right I’m milking this. (YouTube)
| C’MON, JURGEN! THE PHONE BOOK THING IS A TOTAL SCAM! IT’S A TRICK! |
Forced inside by bad weather, the USMNT played basketball and watched some weird motivational guy tear phone books in half. // MLS Soccer
| AT SOME POINT, THIS SITUATION STARTS TO GET A LITTLE CREEPY. I HOPE THERE ARE NO DOLLS INVOLVED. |
Craig Levein loves him some James Morrison, makes it awkward for James Morrison. // The Telegraph
| IS IT ME, OR IS THERE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HER? JUST CAN’T PUT MY FINGER ON IT… |
Let’s celebrate a new milestone for serial WAG Dani Lloyd. It involves photos that might be NSFW. // Kickette
| NOW YOU CAN RECORD YOUR KID AND YELL AT THE REFEREE AT THE SAME TIME! |
This is a pretty interesting camera innovation that makes focusing on one player a breeze, but I’m scared by the possibilities. // YouTube
| ROGER LEVESQUE, LEGEND. AND NOT JUST FOR THE STACHE/BEARD COMBO. |
Here’s a solid Sounders/Timbers rivalry piece in the United Airlines magazine. I know, right? // Hemisphere Mag
| THIS IS ABOUT A MAN ON A BICYCLE HITTING A SQUIRREL AND THERE”S NO MENTION OF THE HEALTH OF THE SQUIRREL. FOR SHAME. |
Scunthorpe manager Alan Knill almost died when he hit a squirrel while riding his bicycle. Except for the death (we assume) of the squirrel, there is nothing not funny about this scenario. Alan’s fine. // Off the Post
| THAT’S IT, I’M TAKING TO THE STREETS. I’VE GOT A VINTAGE PITCHFORK AND SOME ENVIRONMENTALLY-FRIENDLY TORCH FUEL AND THIS RIOT IS ON! |
Comcast, which just so happens to be my cable TV provider, will not have beIN Sport in English in time for Friday’s Jamaica-USA qualifier and I’m a just a tiny bit livid. // The Goalkeeper
| WHAT, SO A MULTIMILLIONAIRE FOOTBALLER WITH AN INCREDIBLY HOT GIRLFRIEND CAN’T JUST BE SAD? NO, I SUPPOSE NOT. |
Cristiano Ronaldo MUST have an ulterior motive with this whole “I’m sad” business. So what is it? // Bleacher Report
| I’M ON BAD PUN RESTRICTION FOR A WEEK. SELF-IMPOSED. STARTING NOW. NO BULL. DAMN. |
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