QWK KCKS is our way of helping you get your day started with a refreshing blast of football culture right in your face.

But I wasn’t ready!
Ronaldinho prompts disturbing noises from the guy taking the video by casually nutmegging a teammate in warmups. // multiple sources, YouTube

Synergize this
Thierry Henry and Sebastien Vittel yuck it up at the F1 champ’s “trial.” Look, the classic “uni swap” photo! Good times, good times. // The Daily Mail

Almost-curse-word spelling bee
John Spencer is epic. When he’s not laying out airline safety, he’s having a serious go at MLS officials. This rant references his mother-in-law and the proper spelling of a word that isn’t a curse word but sounds like one. // Oregon Live

Makeup would be an improvement
What exactly is going on here? Carlos Tevez dressed in a clown getup of some type, complete with creepy (all-natural) smile. // The Spoiler

Unity, shmunity
The US Women’s National Team is super duper sweet, causes mild nausea. // The Onion

The Road to the World Cup is too fricking long
World Cup qualifying officially begins tomorrow when Montserrat and Belize play in Trinidad and Tobago. // Reuters