The Glastonbury Festival is world famous. Music fans spend four days in rain and mud and cow shit getting drunk and listening to bands they thought were better five years ago. It is therefore one of the most revered of English traditions, like Marmite, remembering the Empire, or losing to Germany at soccer.

Liverpool and England target man Andy Carroll is well known to be a fan of live music, so it’s only natural that he’d want to spend his summer vacation taking in Glasto. That’s not a problem. His wardrobe, however…

Photo via Kickette

Where do we even start? The Wellington boots are understandable, but that hat? The headscarf? The red hoody under the purple rain jacket? Are those JORTS??!? It looks like he was dressed by a colorblind toddler who was has a deadly allergy to good taste.

Even worse, he appears to be enjoying himself, meaning he has no idea how stupid he looks.